Not In Kansas Anymore...

Click your heels, and see if home is where you hang your hat, or somewhere else inside yourself as this simple, postmodern girl takes on L.A.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

A Very Amusing Story.....

......In Which Miss Jessica Struggles To Find Master N. His Birthday Gift:

So, Sassy's DS's birthday is next week, and I had called her to ask her what 6ish boys were into now, and so forth. She said Yu-Gi-Oh was all the rage, and he would be thrilled with the trading cards. I'm thinking, AWESOME, this is easy, I can do this! She even said, "THey're usually near the checkstands at Target and stores like that." Even better.

SO here I am, going to Kmart this weekend, and the first thing I see is that it is decked out for Christmas. I mean all the way there, gift sets and animated singing children and lights and the whole nine yards. ( This really freaks me out. I know Black Friday is less than two weeks away, but it still wigs me out. I still believe in Thanksgiving, and to me, The Christmas Season being inaugarated any earlier than Dec. 1 is totally against nature.....I'm just weird that way. ) THey've added 3 extra aisles of toys, and since my initial two passes by the checkstands reveal no cards to speak of, I find I must traipse through them. ALL of them. And let me tell you, it was already looking like locusts had come through and picked it over....

No success after surviving that experience hearkens me on to finish my own shopping and get the hell out of there. So I do, and go up to the checkstands, looking around once MORE for this item. Nothing. A checker calls me over because her register is open, and I head that way.

It was at this moment, God chose to open the Heavens and shine down Heavenly Light upon the general area, illuminating what I had missed before: an entire AISLE next to Registers #1 and #2 that are solely devoted to trading cards. This truly was Grace, because had I gone to ANY. Other. Frickin' register, I wouldn't have found them. I rush over and quickly try to ascertain which of them are the cards I'm looking for.

When in doubt, ask a panel of experts: a small mulling group of young boys are hovering over a certain section, so I crouch down and say, "hey guys, uh...." . Of course this freezes them in mid-chatter, their eyes like headlights, thinking they're going to be chastised. "....are these the Yu-Gi-Oh cards?" I squeak out, feeling like I look like Meanie or a Potential Predator, depending on who's viewing this scene. Two of them return to their banter, clearly relieved I'm not a Squealer, and the third pipes up and tells me ALLLLLLLLLLLLL about it. I pick up two packages, thank him, and move on to pay for my selections.

I think I've got this thing licked. I go home, unpack my stuff, and self-satisfied, I pull out the cards to look them over.

Yeah. I am stopped dead in my self-congratulatory tracks when I read the fronts: "Starter Deck". I drop my head in shame and defeat, not knowing if this is good, bad, or indifferent.

Dammit. I thought I was so hip to Kids Today til this moment. How wrong I was! I am so flippin' old. Clearly I am in over my head.