I am so pissed at my dad.
Today I open up an email labelled "Merry Christmas" and inside is a scan of a ticket from STL police dept. Apparently while I was home for Thanksgiving, I had run a red light while borrowing their car. I didn't know it- I didn't get pulled over. (And the notice on the violation states that I had committed it in "parking" not "moving"- but I got no ticket on my windsheild. There's a picture of me running a yellow light and one with a close up of the license plate. ) I know this kind of thing can happen with cameras and such, so while I am irritated, I am also going "oh well."
MY DAD, on the other hand, felt the need to send this to me via email, with no other text, but "Merry Christmas", implying that he's going to pay the ticket in leiu of a gift. And of course, implying what he always does, which is that I'm reckless and irresponsible, and certainly shouldn't be treated like an adult. It really hurt my feelings, and reminded me of ALLLLLLL those times when I was a teen/ young adult I'd screw up and get the same treatment. I mean, why bother calling me and asking, "I got this ticket today, what happened?" when he can just email me and stick it to me that way?
SO I wrote him back and said, "I didn't get a ticket on my windshield, nor was I pulled over, so I had no knowledge of this. As I was visiting my friend R at his office when this happened, I would have noticed both of those. But thanks so much for emailing this instead of calling and asking me about it, and assuming that I knew and didn't tell you. Merry Christmas, indeed. That really made my damned day. I'll be sending you a check , because I am a responsible person and a good kid. "
I added a description of what I saw on the ticket ( as I've already described) and a ps:
"Since I don't make a habit of breaking the law, lying or being a problem for you past the age of 25, I am really hurt and angry about how you chose to communicate this to me. Just so we're clear."
He's always gotta pull this shit. And then he gets upset when someone gets mad or calls him on it. He's fucked up, and I know it, and so do all the therapists I've seen. I so rarely see the fucked-up-ed-ness anymore, I forget he's capable of being mean for no good reason. Then I see it unexpectedly and feel 17 all over again.
*Sigh*.
And since I'm not 17, I call him on the bullshit. Which makes Christmas merry for everyone! Wheee! Fun stuff.
People wonder why I moved so far away.
Today I open up an email labelled "Merry Christmas" and inside is a scan of a ticket from STL police dept. Apparently while I was home for Thanksgiving, I had run a red light while borrowing their car. I didn't know it- I didn't get pulled over. (And the notice on the violation states that I had committed it in "parking" not "moving"- but I got no ticket on my windsheild. There's a picture of me running a yellow light and one with a close up of the license plate. ) I know this kind of thing can happen with cameras and such, so while I am irritated, I am also going "oh well."
MY DAD, on the other hand, felt the need to send this to me via email, with no other text, but "Merry Christmas", implying that he's going to pay the ticket in leiu of a gift. And of course, implying what he always does, which is that I'm reckless and irresponsible, and certainly shouldn't be treated like an adult. It really hurt my feelings, and reminded me of ALLLLLLL those times when I was a teen/ young adult I'd screw up and get the same treatment. I mean, why bother calling me and asking, "I got this ticket today, what happened?" when he can just email me and stick it to me that way?
SO I wrote him back and said, "I didn't get a ticket on my windshield, nor was I pulled over, so I had no knowledge of this. As I was visiting my friend R at his office when this happened, I would have noticed both of those. But thanks so much for emailing this instead of calling and asking me about it, and assuming that I knew and didn't tell you. Merry Christmas, indeed. That really made my damned day. I'll be sending you a check , because I am a responsible person and a good kid. "
I added a description of what I saw on the ticket ( as I've already described) and a ps:
"Since I don't make a habit of breaking the law, lying or being a problem for you past the age of 25, I am really hurt and angry about how you chose to communicate this to me. Just so we're clear."
He's always gotta pull this shit. And then he gets upset when someone gets mad or calls him on it. He's fucked up, and I know it, and so do all the therapists I've seen. I so rarely see the fucked-up-ed-ness anymore, I forget he's capable of being mean for no good reason. Then I see it unexpectedly and feel 17 all over again.
*Sigh*.
And since I'm not 17, I call him on the bullshit. Which makes Christmas merry for everyone! Wheee! Fun stuff.
People wonder why I moved so far away.
posted by Jessica @ 10:45 PM
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