'Kay, blogging at the public library. I gotta make this quick because I've got 21 minutes remaining on my reserve time.

Yes, it's come to that...no DSL, no internet, no cable tv, because there's no dollah bills, y'all. I went for a job interview today for a special events florist ( she does only weddings- no retail, no yelling Joanna, no kids screaming, nothing being thrown at my head) and while the job looks okay, I doubt if she'll hire me. I came in with the. Worst. Attitude EVER. Shoot yourself in the foot? Why, yes, thank you, I think I shall. I didn't really realize I was being overly negative til I got in the car to leave, and my utter lack of enthusiasm tipped me off. Usually I'm a good faker even if I feel tired or crappy, but upon reflection, I realized almost everything out of my mouth was negative or sounded like Eeyore. "Do you like L.A.?" "No. Can't stand it." "So, how did you get in to flowers?" "Well, I had this terrible job at a florist's where the designer was a diva. I learned alot though." "A diva? How so?" "Well, she called us all idiots. And threw things. I hope you dont do that here." "NO! Certainly not....ahem....anyway...."

Good going, Jessica. Smoooooooth. Bash the last employer and sound like a whiner in the proccess! Agh.

I suppose my exhaustion with jobs is just showing at the seams. I haev no interest in getting a new job, only to lose it. I do not feel like getting back on this horse. I had hoped, this year, for some consistency, some stability. Now what I have is a dying pet, no employment, and no hope of ever having sex again before I drop dead. Things are looking great.

Could it be worse? Hard to say. I suppose anything could be. It's all relative, right? Not in the hospital. Not living with my parents. Not covered in an unsightly prickly-heat rash ( usually a threat for me this time of year). Not in the middle of an ill-timed break-up. I just keep thinking of this Faith Hill song:

I got no papers to read
I got no cable tv...
'Cause you're mine
All I need to know
Is sun shines everywhere we go
Yeah, I'm the lucky one...
I'm the lucky one....

Somehow.
And now my time is up. 8 minutes remaining.