I stink. No, I mean it- I smell bad. I just took a shower last night, and I woke up, and I smell. I do not know what I'm sweating out of my body, but it is GAWD awful. Maybe it's all that progestin.
It's been Stress-Palooza these last two days. My boss called today and said she and her friend are going to work The Boutique for a few weeks to get sales up. I should call in a few weeks to come back to work, though, because she's going to be starting production on her movie then. In all seriousness. She wasn't firing me. What I'm supposed to do for money TIL then, I have no clue. So out comes the resume, again.
I have so little will to actually submit it. Can't imagine why...
Anthony and I are emailing like crazy, discussing the why's and wherefores of an issue that's driving ME crazy- namely, his temper. He hasn't unleashed lately, but after he left, all the things I was trying to keep under control because I only had a week with him left just came tumbling out. He's got such a disrespectful mouth, and I cannot stand for it. I know he doesn't mean it, but that doesn't make it right, and I'll walk on this point. I told him it was a dealbreaker, and sent him an email just tonight about exactly the incidents I NEVER want to see again. Don't think I didn't gnash my teeth about how to say all THAT.
It's wearing me out. I'm fighting so hard, he's working so hard, to keep this love and there's hardly any history in it of good times to sustain this level of work, energetically. What can I say? I have faith? I love him? Yes, and yes. And then...???
I'm just a cosmic question mark anyway, these past few days.
Griffin can barely walk anymore. He totters about to the water bowl and eats a bit of dry food, and that's it. He's spent the last two days in a little bed I made for him, out of soft old towel and a box. He looks sad. I'm waiting. Every day, now, I'm just waiting.
I got my period, but still am blue. Not as crazy anxious or confused, but blue. I'm also an odd kind of serene. Like it's all going to be okay, maybe. I don't know what that means, either.
Just going to ride this wave til it breaks. What else can ya do?
It's been Stress-Palooza these last two days. My boss called today and said she and her friend are going to work The Boutique for a few weeks to get sales up. I should call in a few weeks to come back to work, though, because she's going to be starting production on her movie then. In all seriousness. She wasn't firing me. What I'm supposed to do for money TIL then, I have no clue. So out comes the resume, again.
I have so little will to actually submit it. Can't imagine why...
Anthony and I are emailing like crazy, discussing the why's and wherefores of an issue that's driving ME crazy- namely, his temper. He hasn't unleashed lately, but after he left, all the things I was trying to keep under control because I only had a week with him left just came tumbling out. He's got such a disrespectful mouth, and I cannot stand for it. I know he doesn't mean it, but that doesn't make it right, and I'll walk on this point. I told him it was a dealbreaker, and sent him an email just tonight about exactly the incidents I NEVER want to see again. Don't think I didn't gnash my teeth about how to say all THAT.
It's wearing me out. I'm fighting so hard, he's working so hard, to keep this love and there's hardly any history in it of good times to sustain this level of work, energetically. What can I say? I have faith? I love him? Yes, and yes. And then...???
I'm just a cosmic question mark anyway, these past few days.
Griffin can barely walk anymore. He totters about to the water bowl and eats a bit of dry food, and that's it. He's spent the last two days in a little bed I made for him, out of soft old towel and a box. He looks sad. I'm waiting. Every day, now, I'm just waiting.
I got my period, but still am blue. Not as crazy anxious or confused, but blue. I'm also an odd kind of serene. Like it's all going to be okay, maybe. I don't know what that means, either.
Just going to ride this wave til it breaks. What else can ya do?
posted by Jessica @ 1:54 AM
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