Not In Kansas Anymore...

Click your heels, and see if home is where you hang your hat, or somewhere else inside yourself as this simple, postmodern girl takes on L.A.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

So much for all the hand wringing....

Well, I went to this guy's office and he was all "oh, so tell me how you're feeling, blah blah blah...." and so I tell him the whole story and such and I ask how my tests came back. He says, well, it shows evidence that you've had EBV once in your life. I said I thought it was a new infection, and he said, no, it might be a reactivation. I said I was unlcear on that.....on and on and basically he tells me every other test is fine and I am a basically healthy person and I shouldn't worry and if things get bad for me to try x, y, z things ( which I happen to know are all treatments for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), and sends me outta there.

Then I go to my car really mad at my GP for scaring the shit out of me and sending me there. So I call her office and ask her, what's the deal? She said, "Jessica, your EBV titers are higher than last time, and I don't know much about it so I sent you to him." And then I got really pissed at the guy for not just saying so. I guess he figured what really mattered was how I felt, and he felt I didn't have enough symptoms to worry about and even if I did, there wasn't jack shit he could do anyway so.....he kept saying, "I don't want you to get hung up on the numbers."

It occurred to me later that he treats alot of HIV patients, and when *I* used to work with HIV patients, THEY are VERY hung up on their T-Cell count, etc., and it has no real meaning on what their prognosis is.

But THIS is different. If your EBV titers are up it MEANS something. It usually correlates with symptoms, and it's reassuring to know, "damn, I'm not crazy; I am sick ". And so I have decided to get a second opinion, and at least get someone in my corner who's gonna listen when I say, "my EBV titers are up and I'm feeling crappy,". I know there isn't anything Western medicine can do, but there's something to be said for a doc who allows you to feel crappy when you do and shows a little concern. Anyway.

The good news is that I DON'T have Hep B or anything so I don't have to talk to Anthony about it. I was concerned about all the Hepatitises since he works in a hellhole and according to the fun maps on the wall at the infectious disease doc's, he's exposed to everything except Yellow Fever. Well, it's not really my responsibility anymore, since he's going to risk it by not getting immunized and that's his problem....(although I think it's damned irresponsible to himself and any partner he has to not be more concerned about that, and it pisses me off. Breathe, Jessica, hands off his issues, and focus on you.....inhale, exhale......). He's going to Second Global Hotspot ( on the Dark Continent), allegedly this fall, and NO ONE will even let anyone leave the goddamned country for there without getting immunized for anything and everything; he'll be covered then. If he doesn't have symptoms of EBV now, he may never have them, and if he gets tested (which he can't do til he gets home anyway- they offer no medical care in his company), he'll probably show up positive like the rest of 90% of American adults. Not for me to be ethically concerned with, so whew. Thank Whomever.

So, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. The doc still wants me tested for HIV and a bunch of other crap, just in case, but he said, looking at the other panels, it's doubtful I have anything.

Tha's the news, but grr. Argh! Groan. Grateful for the good side of it, but back to the drawing board in the EBV catagory.....