Not In Kansas Anymore...

Click your heels, and see if home is where you hang your hat, or somewhere else inside yourself as this simple, postmodern girl takes on L.A.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Updates.....Get your Updates.....

1.) So, I was in the grocery store getting a gift card for my AWOL BFF ( birthday the 13th- it's too bad ignoring it would be childish and mean because I feel childish and mean, but I'm not gonna act childish and mean, know what I mean? ). I felt it was pretty sad that when whenever shit hits the fan her life I'm around, and checking in, and when it hits the fan, in mine, that I don't know if she's gonna call or not. She does care, and I'm not saying if I called her, she would be all "I'm busy".....I'm just not in a good place for that right now, I needed her to make a tiny effort. Unfortunately, she's not in a good place right now either,(understandably,if you knew what she'd been going through) was, instead, hostile when I suggested that a tiny effort was needed....... and we've taken a hiatus on talking since neither one of us wants to budge on the issue. Good times. *Sighing...*

2.)...... and mom calls. She's forking over the $$ out of her 401k. I'm like, "WHAT??" Because this means my dad threw down the gauntlet and said he wasn't gonna do DICK. THAT made me mad. But I didn't say anything. I just said, "Why are you doing it like that?" and she said, "Because that is what I have to do. " And I said, "What did Dad say?" and she paused. I said, "I shouldn't ask, eh?" ANd she said, "No." And so I thanked her and said, "Well, anything you feel the need to scream at me about? Because I've been waiting. Now's your chance. Free shot." She said, "No....but let me think about it." I said, "Fair enough. " She said, "The only thing I would say is, I'm not doing it again. " I said, "Fair enough." And that was that.

3.) My dad = colossal asshole. I mean, I KNOW where he keeps the $$, and it's not all tied up, since he divested everything when the market was going down last year. Everything exists in a money market account. And my aunt made it clear to me last night that out of all the siblings who worked for and retired from the same company, he's set up the best, since he never spends any of it. So he must have thrown a fit and she must have decided this on her own, which makes me really upset. GAWD. Moments in my life where I've actually liked both parents at once are so rare. That's sad.

4.) But GOOD NEWS is I am now back in the safe zone and can't be anything other but grateful for it. Hallelujah.

5.) In the BAD news, for some reason, my pharmacy changed suppliers on their generic meds. I had a problem in October when they changed generics on my mood stabilizer. I figured once that was rectified, I'd be all right. Well....except that I've noticed in the past week that my anxiety meds ( also different generic) might as well be made of sugar. I am irritable, I can't sleep, I'm worrying all the time, and I'm eating sugar like it's going out of style ( withdrawal, anyone?). I asked my doc about it when I was in my appointment on Monday and he said, "You know genrics only have to have less than 25% of difference in active agents." (I thought it was MUCH closer than that!) "So you could be getting up to 25% less of a dose." That's pretty criminal, in my mind, but no one asked ME, obviously......anyway, I'm off to the pharmacy yet again to try and negotiate a return to the generic I used to have. *Eye roll*. I mean, what if I were trying to prevent a stroke, or a heart attack ( and just see #1 for possible implications as applied to this situation. I mean, yeah, I'm right but....?) ? Crimeny.

5.) I have an interview with Macy's for holiday work on Monday. I'm hoping they hire me, but who knows? I have a feeling a credit check might be involved and if that's the case, I'm SOL. PLEASE JUST HIRE ME! I promise to be nice, even to the most obnoxious customers. I promise to take a breath before I get snarky. I promise to even work on days everyone else wants off!!

6.) Tuesday I leave for Boston to visit my friend Blu. Yes, once again, in the middle of crisis and poverty, I get a trip to go see my friend for free. I'm very excited, and I can't wait to see Salem, or Blu, and her daughter, and "New Moon", and Harvard, and eat a lobster roll and a real whoopie pie. LOOOOONG assed plane ride, but right now, getting out of here may not be a bad idea. I've been driving around VERY carefully in my insurance-subsidized rental, and JESUS CHRIST, people are crazy. I am way too freaked out still to even cope with that just yet.

In summary: My life is definitely weird, and I never know what's coming around the corner, for better or for worse.....apparently this year the only options are to hold on tight for the ride.