Not In Kansas Anymore...

Click your heels, and see if home is where you hang your hat, or somewhere else inside yourself as this simple, postmodern girl takes on L.A.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

And more becomes revealed on this ultra-strange twist on my dating life- as if I needed any more weirdness.

BB sent me the thread of conversations with this Person Posing As Me on craigslist today. ( I tried to make them more readable,but you know how this thing goes):

"B B" (his email here) wrote:
Hello Peaches and Cream ( tag line opener/contact site from craigslist- I have the link- it's dead),
Here are my pictures- one is of me, the other one is a drawing to show you my artistic side. I'm 37, a character animator, 6'0", animal lover, funny, real, passionate, childlike (in a good way). I liked your ad because you sound direct, sexy, and honest~
--B B

"Wiccan Love" <Wiccan Love email link> wrote:
hey there,
Sorry for the impersonal first email, there were too many responses at once. But, I had a chance to check out your pics, you're cute. ;-)
How long have you lived in LA? did you check out my profile/pics yet? i think my personality comes through more when you can read it.
I'm probably going to have to delete this email soon because of spam and crazy dudes, so hit me back on the salon site until I can create a new email......

"B B "<his email> wrote:
Hey there Wiccan,
Are you real or an Internet robot? If you are, tell me what your favorite movie is~ (sorry, it's a crazy world out there)

"Wiccan Love" <email link> wrote:
oh hey, no problem, it's understandable. My favorite movie is probably (Title of Film Here)- it's gorgeous!
i just prefer to go through that site (Salon) because it's more secure and it's too scary to use a real email with guys I don't know. There are some real wackos on there.
check out my profile and hit me up if you want.
(the direct link to my Salon profile listed here )
hope to hear from you...

--- "BB" <his email> wrote:
(Director of Film), okay, so you have some good tastes~ I'm a Fellini man myself.. I'm sending you an email here because Salon is charging money for me to reply to your ad (I signed up but they still want some $$). Not that you aren't worth it. I promise I won't stalk ya, Wiccan Love.
I want to tell you a little bit about myself, this isn't a pre-typed cut and paste job, this is me typing virtually live..I'm 37, I'm childlike and passionate. Vegan..6'0", 190 lbs, I get women's attention but I'm not a cheat, a heartbreaker, or a jerk. If you asked people the dominant impression I give them would be passionate, real, compassionate, great listener, a bit of a mad scientist type.
I'd like to say that if you like nice, talented men who care about what you say, that's me. I'm a guy who is vulnerable, takes risks, says what he feels! If you like alpha male types who are high on power and materialism and don't give a damn about being fair or real, that's not me. I think nice can be sexy, deviant, playful, exciting~
Why am I online? Am I an internet troll who needs cyberspace to hook up? The real reason is I don't want to fool around with women who drape their arms around me at dance clubs! I read your entire profile and what I like about what I read about you is you talk a lot about the grays between the black and white, you're spiritual, pragmatic, you like one on one conversation, you come across as sexy and I also like the fact you're an artist. What art do you do?
Last blurb: I'm just looking for a woman who wants to dress up in a nice skirt, do up her hair, and have a wonderful conversation about life with me over some red wine. I'll bring the broad shoulders, the white dress shirt and black coat. You know that feeling you get when you drink a little red wine, you're on that first date, and you catch a glimpse of that person, some look in their eye, the way they smile or the way they move or the way their body looks, that makes you want to make out near a roaring fire? That's what I'm looking for~
Oh, the pic of you looking up (3rd down) is really nice~

On 2/26/08, Wiccan Love <email here> wrote:
Hi again!
You sound pretty darn cool. (and it doesn't hurt you're way cute).
Thanks for the compliment on the picture, btw. It's my "intense artist" pic. I'm into performance art mainly, I've done video display art as well.
I really want to chat more, but I must be off to bed. I have to get up early. Let's definitely chat more......
looking forward to that fire!!!

Jesus H. on A Broomstick. What the effing eff? That's so not me.....I don't talk like that.

Later on, I was writing my friend Blue about this, and this is my take on it:


I didn't actually THINK it was you, honey, so please dont take offense. I was also meaning to send it to the smartest gals I know to get some outside insight. I hardly think anyone one my chat board or who is my real friend has 5 mintues to even ponder the notion of what it would take to pull something like this off.

BB ( the guy) did send me series of conversations today, and the link vis-a-vis craiglist has been removed. ( It was on Feb 25, which is a totally weird date, the day after the Oscars. ) The conversations don't sound like me at ALL ( "hit me up"? PLEASE ::eye roll), but they're relatively benign, I might add, and what's comforting is that BB was acting like a total gentleman the whole time.

. What's weird is this several things:

1.) they listed "Film" as one of my favortie movies, which I don't think Sassy even knows. It's a foreign film and while it IS one of my favorite movies, I don't tend to discuss it in wide circles, because, well, what are the chances most people are going to know what the hell I'm referring to? So it's gotta be someone who knows that and who is familiar enough with those film circles that I would even open that topic..

2.) They keep talking about the kind of performance art I used to do. And so on. I don't think many people who are in my life NOW would really know that either, as again, it's not something I discuss alot, because I've shifted my focus primarily. This is stuff I used to do in art school. It comes up when people on the site ask. Or if you knew me THEN.

3.) They signed it "J", which is a completely ME thing, but only in the last few years.

All of that narrows it down to a few choice candidates, namely, either men I've talked to on Salon. com before, about film and my work, which comes up alot, and/or someone who Knew Me When. But as BB pointed out, "Why would some guy you rebuffed on want you to meet other men??" Excellent point, but a little short sighted, as I answered, "Maybe they thought Id meet skanky men." His response, "But they were being nice and tasteful. Not like that, really." He has a point.

The more this shows itself with some details, the only person I can think of that would be THAT nefarious is my friend ( sort of) Rattlesnakle, from when I was in STL. I knew him at My Alma Mater and we were totally tight. Like best gay/hag type tight. He was in film school, and he of course knew I loved this movie "Film". In fact, right before I left there I took a class on Director, the director of this film. ( With R, my friend who taught the class. No way he'd do it....he's got 3 kids, a job, a life, etc...) I heard from Rattlesnake recently and he said he'd been reading my blog, and sounded like I'd been having men trouble, etc.etc. He was quite sweet about it, but Rsnake.....Rsnake is quite the little prankster. In the not-so-funny way. And we haven't been tight for a LONG time. Like I hadn't heard from him for years before that recent email. We kind of fell out about a bunch of crap that doesn't really matter now, and we're civil and on good terms, but I KNOW him, and this is something he would do , TOTALLY because he was bored.

Anyway, I asked him, and he didn't say no, he just said, "how weird....can I use it for a screenplay? Ha ha!" I laughed it off right back, was sweet, but closed with, "Rsnake, if you did this, don't EVER do it again and think I won't know." So. It totally reeks of him, and WHY he thought this was a good plan, I have no clue.

And I have no proof, you know? But I will be contacting security and letting them know this happened. Lucky for me, BB's a stand up guy ( and HOT)- totally fucking annoying, but a real good man, so I didn't run into any dillholes. I guess I'm just still kinda shocked that it happened. That's my life for you...I don't even COURT weirdness, it just comes to me. ::Eye roll::


And then I just went ahead and emailed this Wiccan Love email link myself. Just to let 'em know where I stand. Hell, don't think I won't do it. I sure as shit will and they will sure as shit be sorry. I know lawyers as friends who would make the hair on the back of your neck stand up,you know? And identity theft and breach of contract is a crime; even if all the worse could happen is a slap on the wrist and a fine. No skin off my nose if that's all it ends up being, because you know what? A lesson is a lesson: don't fuck with me. I won't let you get away with it. Not anymore.


To: Wiccan Love

Who the hell are you and what are you doing posting my ad on I don't know who you are or what the hell you think you're doing, but I'm going to be honest: that's a serious breach of ethics and I never gave anyone permission to do it, as salon is PRIVATE and that's why you pay for it. Do it again, and I catch you, and I'll drag your sorry ass into court for harrassment.



I need to call an astrologer. I am clearly attracting fuckin' crazy assed people into my sphere of interaction with no particular effort on my part. Lots of people sign up for internet dating and don't end up like this. Right? SO what the hell? It must be a planetary thing. Hey, it makes as much sense as anything else.

*Sigh*. Tiring. The more life goes on, the more I think I ought to give in to friend's exhortations to write a book. I thought it was pretty narcissistic, but at this point, it's practically Lifetime sit-com material.