You're going to love this, if for nothing more than a laugh:

In an effort to get more hours, I offered to play "Biscuit" ( the puppy, from he children's book series*) on Thursday if they scheduled me a full shift . I don't know if they'll take me up on it, but I think this should show my willingness to play ball occasionally: I'm willing to get dressed up in a stupid dog suit and stand around letting children hug me and mill about at will. Plus, as I said to Annabelle, our Community Relations co-ordinator, "I can put it on my actor's resume". I didn't mention that I think it goes down as about the most humilating thing I've had to do for money since I've moved here, so I'm hoping Some Divine Force will take pity on me and throw some OTHER cash source my way ( I almost said "and throw me a bone", but that would have been awful.). Humility = good karma, right??? RIGHT!?!?!?

Oh yes. Bring it on. Bring it ON.

Oh, and additionally, I have had enough of the farking Jonas Brothers. I see them so often on the covers of things at work that I've started having little dreams about them at night. These dreams are hardly fit to describe since most of them are erotic, and I have no idea why. I have my suspicions, though.....It started after I noticed that kinda-homoerotic cover on Rolling Stone and thought, "That's kinda hot" before I even knew who it was. Then I was repulsed ('cause hello, they're BROTHERS!) and of course I had to read the article to find out why they were styled thusly ( answer: no particular reason, other than it looked kinda hot. I should have known better than to expect more). Obviously an enormous mistake on my part, all over the map, because it put it into my unconscious mind even MORE, and unfortunately, my dreaming mind doesn't know the difference between annoying barely-legal boys who sound like they need to play "This is Middle C" with their voice teacher, and grown-up men more appropriate for MY AGE ( and that I can respect? Hello?) who either don't sing at all or know how to sing already. ARRGHGUGHGH!!!

My life? Is a sitcom. I just wish I had the paychecks to go with it.
______________________________________________________
* no, I don't work for that bookselling company. Whaddya think I'm stupid? I deliberately picked a different link. Just for anonymity ( or semi-anonymity)'s sake. I've read enough articles about employers finding employees blogs to be any less discreet. Thank you.