Not In Kansas Anymore...

Click your heels, and see if home is where you hang your hat, or somewhere else inside yourself as this simple, postmodern girl takes on L.A.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I'm just gonna be lazy and cut-and-paste an email I sent to a friend recently since I really don't feel like writing.... ( edits made for....editorial reasons. And because I said so.):

Hi Sweetie!

I haven't felt like writing in my blog since I got back from Boston, as it was a wretched trip that I think has just broken me down. I know I've owed you an email, but things have been solid rotten here all year and I just didn't want to waste your time complaining. Brief highlights, instead:

1.) I haven't worked almost all year- I DID get hired at Macy's for holiday help and thought I'd be working my butt off by now, but they are only scheduling me THREE times in the next two weeks. Then of course, Christmas will be over. I got hired by them on Nov 11 and I've sat around WAITING for a month. What a waste of time. Of course, this means no Christmas gifts for mom and dad ( or anyone) til...??

2.) RE: the car accident, there is, of course residual drama. First is that now Crazy INS- Suspect Lady has gotten a lawyer and is claiming injury. I'm insured against this, but ARGH. Their lawyer called my insurance company and wanted to know the maximum of my policy, and the adjuster couldn't release that information without my consent. I said, "Absolutely not." I was informed that it was customary that we go ahead and tell them, and I reiterated that my answer was negative, being that I had actually met these yahoos and determined that they were not particularly good people. If she wants to submit her medical forms, THEN we have those assesed as valid or invalid, and THEN we pay. After all, that's what I had to do, and when I did, I didn't get a dime untill I went to small claims court. The max she can get is $6000 in small claims court. If I tell her NOW I'm insured to $25,000 for injury to a second party, she's gonna be sure to file a suit for that much, I suspect (even if the injuries are "soft tissue" { i.e.: no sustained trauma or broken bones or surgical intervention neccessary; the kind that send you to the chiropractor for a lot of out of pocket money} like mine were, I had to sue in small claims, because insurance companies try to avoid to pay out on those anymore. I can't believe she got a lawyer to take her claim, unless the injury IS exceptional. In which case, she can prove it. I'm not trying to hold out on her- I know how it goes personally! - I'm just trying to protect myself so she HAS to prove it instead of getting a big settlement out of MY policy.). So, HELL TO THE NO, thank you, I'm hanging up now.
I do have MY car back now, though my brakes, (after slamming them and screeching and spinning out) are not up to where they should be, understandably. But the car looks nice.

3.) In addition to these car woes and money woes, I've owed on my liscence plates for over a year now. I have penalties and tickets that have racked up to $750. I would have gladly paid them all if the money were there.....but it wasn't.

4.) I did have some money put aside that my mom had sent to me for the CAR ONLY following the Dad-Isn't-Speaking-To-You Incident, but guess what? My friend Blu sent me a plane ticket as a gift to go to Boston in September. Free-- she just wanted me to come out to see "New Moon" with her and her daughter. I didn't have any money, and I told her so; she reassured me it was fine. I've known her for 5 years, and trust her, so, I went. BUT: She then lost her mind about two days before I was to leave and kicked me to the curb- nowhere to go, and as far as she knew, no money. She just threw me out of her house because we were having a tense moment.(And can I say how much I want to write her REAL NAME here right now? I won't, I won't. I won't do that because that's the kind of tactless crap she went on to pull after bouncing me out of her house like I'd either slept with her boyfriend or killed her dog { not even close to that-we had a dumb, dumb argument}; she decided to derisively announce her actions as "neccessary" an call me a few choice epithets on Facebook in full public view of oh, say...25 of our mutual friends....only THREE of whom actually bothered to inquire privately if I was all right. NICE, ladies. Thanks for adding searing disappointment to my cup-o-scary-bullshit-and-humilation. I appreciate it! ) Luckily my mom had just given me ( literally deposited it the NIGHT BEFORE she went psycho, in anticipation of my coming home and having do a quick pickup on the way home from the airport) the $$ for the car. But guess where that went? To saving my ass in a town I didn't know ( and for gas, thank you gifts> see below) . Yup. Good times.

On the good side....

5.) An old friend from HS, Milo, lives in the Berkshires, about 3 hours outside Boston, and I had posted to him on Facebook while I was in Boston, and said, "Are you still in MA? Are you close?" He called me the morning of The Psycho Incident and we lamented that he wasn't close enough to meet up. However, as things escalated with Blu, he happened to be on the phone when she walked in. I went to hang up, but he wanted to know I was okay and asked me to call him later. Well.....when I got to the hotel Triple A found me on the fly, I called him, and when he and his wife heard what happened to me, he came and picked me up. 3 hours. Both ways ( he also did it Mon morning at the crack of dawn to get me back to the Boston airport). I've known that man for 25 years, but I hadn't seen him in about 15. But he and his family -- who are so awesome--welcomed me in. I am forever grateful. I don't know if I can thank him enough. Just thinking about it makes me cry.

6.) My dear friend Vince, after I got home and fell into the I'm-Way-In-The-Hole-Because-Of-Circumstances-Beyond-My-Control spiral, sent me some cash, because I just didn't know where else to go for it. It's enough to help on the car tags, but will probably not solve the whole problem. Still it's an extremely generous ( really) gesture, and gets me closer to getting it together, and I am really, really kind of blown away by his kindness.

7.) I MIGHT have a housesitting gig to make up for some of the loss that the job at Macy's incurred. I've been applying to lots of things and I keep chanting a mantra for SOMETHING to come. Keep your fingers crossed....

Other than that, I've been hanging on, trying to get by. I'm really tired and feeling pretty hopeless right now. Christmas is going to suck- I've borrowed money from everyone I know, and I just feel guilty and sad. No one has treated me any differently, but it's just a crappy situation. I wish I had better news, but personally I'd like to sleep through Christmas to about Feb, when people will be hiring again and I can get a job and get my life back on's sad how much money plays a part in that. However, I realize I am not totally luckless; I'm obviously blessed with amazing friends who come through for me this year when I least expected it and others have come through for me over and over in the past. I am very very glad for each of those particular reasons alone.

Well, I love you and hope things are going good on your end. I hope you and your family have a good holiday-- you deserve it!