Not In Kansas Anymore...

Click your heels, and see if home is where you hang your hat, or somewhere else inside yourself as this simple, postmodern girl takes on L.A.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

His brother died. HB's brother just died yesterday. A total accident, he fell while rock climbing. He was 18. It was on the front page of the online newspaper.

So sad. A family tragedy, to state the obvious.

Shit. I feel like an ass for taking him to task on Sat. But, I'm not psychic. Not like that. He had, in fact, pissed me off, so....???

We're not close at all, so as someone mentioned to me, I shouldn't beat myself up. And they're right. But he's got no one here and I had just told him to basically grow the fuck up and play nice and good luck with that.

So I took a minute and messaged him that we had a clean slate. If he needed anything, to call ( don't worry, I won't be waiting by the phone. This is HIS thing. HIS FAMILY'S thing. Not about me, and this little personal momentary guilt pang is about as narcissistic as I'm gonna get about it, I assure you.). That he had support in LA if he wanted it.

Timing is just a trick of fate. You think you know, but you have no idea. On so many levels. Sometimes, it's just really unfair, and I wonder why sometimes. Why bad things happen to people when they're already down. Why dumb misunderstandings happen at the worst times. Why it's all so unpredictable.

Life is so....adjectives fail me these days. This is just one of those times where you wish you had a Google Map so you could zoom out and see the bigger picture, 'cause surely it would help.


I don't know. I really don't. Like everyone else, I'm just making up as I go along.