Not In Kansas Anymore...

Click your heels, and see if home is where you hang your hat, or somewhere else inside yourself as this simple, postmodern girl takes on L.A.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

So there I was......

...just sitting in the breakroom eating my cup of yogurt at about 11:30 today when a coworker and I felt a rumble. We thought it was a large truck passing by our building, but it didn't stop.

We had, instead, a 5.8 "mini-quake" ( epicenter in Chino-- not close, maybe 100 miles?) that officially became the First Really Scary Earthquake-y Like Thing I've Ever Been In Since Moving Here. It was like the whole world was on rollers! We leapt up and stood in a doorway, and it lasted about a minute.

Afterwards, I felt like my tummy wouldn't settle and I was dizzy for about 20 minutes. And then things went back to normal.

I've decided I don't like earthquakes very much. Tornadoes, storms, snow, blizzards, etc I can cope with. But I was kind of thinking about it and the sense that the earth isn't going to hold you up? Not a keeper. Thanks anyway.

In the end no one was hurt. A few books fell over, but not many. Can you imagine a more insane place to be if it was bigger? Crazy.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.....

Monday, July 28, 2008

Nothing new to report, except anxiously waiting the release of Stephenie Meyer's last book in the Twilight saga, Breaking Dawn. My friend Blu keeps finding all these clips from the upcoming film, and as much as I totally get skeeved by favorite books being pushed to the screen, I must say, the looks of it might be shaping up. Initial teasers and photos were quite dim as some publicist who has been fired by now, surely, relased these:

Which are just. Not. RIGHT.

Luckily, someone got it together and pulled these out of the bag:

Which are precisely what we'd all been hoping for. MUCH better, thanks!! It seems ridiculous how important it is to get characters looking right, but I just have three words for you if you think it doesn't matter: Tom Cruise. Lestat. 'Nuff said.

It's also kinda sad that a gaggle of near-middle aged women are spending alot of time drooling over an imaginary vampire ( a TEEN vampire, no less), and the most common commentary is that unless you've read the books, you just might find it hard to believe that they are THAT compelling. I would argue something more explicit: Everyone wants to be loved the way Edward loves Bella ( his human paramour; "star-crossed " isn't even sufficient to explain....). Their oh-so-chaste but passionate soulmate dance is what anyone would find difficult to resist.

And everyone is drawn to this notion-- in one way or another, whether it be vampires, fairies, magic, aliens,whatever-- that there's this Other Reality just a slip away from Real Life. "The World Behind The World", or as Wiccans say, ' Behind The Veil'. It certainly makes regular life, with work and obligations and money problems and day to day drudgery seem more interesting, doesn't it?

But the real testament is to Meyer's writing; she just spins a damn fine yarn. Really, it's not a story anyone's never heard before: a million vampire romances sit on the shelves collecting dust as I type. She just infuses some sort of prodigious description into whatever world she builds, and somehow, resists the propensity for cheesey at every turn, while keeping you extremely invested in unknown outcomes. That's a pretty big skill to have, in a genre that's known for the utterly predictable, overwrought, melodramatic, cliched and geekarific. I don't know how she manages to avoid those traps , but she makes it happen.

Other than that, I'm anxiously awaiting yet another call from MOCA. I applied for another position, one that again would be perfect for me in terms of pay, proximity,'s with their education department, which, thankyouverymuch, I already have six fucking years experience with. I know, I keep saying tha all the time, but if this go-round doesn't produce at least an interview, I throw in the fucking towel. I either give it up or I start doing the truly unappealing, which is trying to get in the door via pulling any string I can find-- like calling up my former supervisor in STL and having HIM call whomever HE knows there, even if he knows no one. I HATE that option. It's the most imposing of professional favors, way beyond a reference, and who says if ex-boss has strings to pull, he doesn't want to keep those options to pull them for himself when he might need them? UGH. I don't even know if I have the chutzpah to ask, it's so distasteful to me.
However, the doors aren't opening no matter how hard I bang, and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm frustrated and tired, and I am really sick of wasting away watching my life head into NOTHING. It's like I'm doomed to work retail or some such other forever, and scrape by untill I die. It begs the question: why? And what am I doing wrong?

And lately I've been having that There's Something Wrong With Me Feeling again, as Sassy so accurately described it once. She mentioned to me when I was bereft about Anthony that I somehow got the idea in my head that because I was unattached at this late hour in my life that I was somehow Broken. Everyone else is having this work for them, everyone else finds a mate, has a family, I don't, did I miss the boat? What am I doing wrong? Nothing, therefore = I'm Busted.

I thought I had gotten past that after some serious internal cheerleading on my part, but lately I find it resurfacing as 40 looms large. As time ticks by and my bedtime routine consists of staying up late so I don't have to go to bed alone ( I really do this), and I look for more reasonable solutions to the crushing lonliness and come up empty, that THIS is the default position my mind as to why it's all happening this way and there's no ready answer. I'm not feeling as desperate this time, like "ooh, I'll date this Unsuitable Mate and make him suitable!" so I guess that's an improvement; I'm definitely seeing any potential crush objects through the harsh lens of "But is he THERE, you know, where I am? Ready to GO and not dick around for the next 5 years and then bail??? Is he quality goods, or a fixer-upper? Can I live with him AS HE IS, or does he need some work that I am in no mood to initiate?"

I suppose that's good. Too bad nothing changes about the situation, regardless. It's not like Said Crush Objects ( as few and far between as they are) are lining up to entreat me for a the pleasure of a second or two of my blessed company. It's not like I'm so in a position to be a Progressive Gal and take the initaive myself, (see "few and far between", above). It's not like I even have a social life to speak of. I work, I go home, I eat, I straighten up some, I read, and I go to bed. What am I supposed to do, hit the clubs?? Do something ultra-declasse' and take a cooking class in order to catch myself a man? Snort. I don't think so.....and I am SO done with internet dating. No more. Had enough of fishing in a pond with way too many fish and so few ways of weeding out the mutated ones.

Needless to say, I'm in quite the mood these days. Both of those conditions area adding to the slowly increasing throb inside my stomach as another year marches toward its natural end. I feel pathetic and sad and incredibly freaked out on a low level all the time. All the time.

Which brings me to this topic, in a nice segueway:

I know some people out there are silently disapproving of my decision to go to Paris, (or are unconsciously jealous?) because a few key folks have said absolute so little in response to the news that the silence is defeaning. Perhaps they're just preoccupied with their own stuff, I don't know. However, I would say to those who question the wisdom of throwing out a significant sum of money ( that I didn't earn! For shame!) towards such a whimsy when I can barely pay my phone bill: I cannot overemphasize the level of sheer panic I have about wasting my life, and having woken up this summer and realized that it is speeding by at an alarming rate. While you all were going to school and having babies and getting hitched, (or divorced and then into second major commitments ) and generally living out your life as One Might Expect, I was too sick to function for large chunks at a time.

I'm not asking for pity, since I know you wouldn't offer it anyway, but here's the deal: inside I feel like I'm 28, not 39. I'm way behind on the Life Goal Curve, here. Stepping aside from the comparison game for a moment, I am finding that I have sacrificed most of my adulthood to a total interloper on my opportunity to progress normally. That's fine and all, as I have finally been able to move out of Bittertown about it ( mostly) , 'cause you know what? It can't be changed. So I do what I can and try to tune out the deafining din of messages of Where I Should Be Now and boost myself up and above feeling terribly lonely and without a proper peer group, since very few women my age are in my situation.

Still, when something like this hits, I realize that there's just some things you don't get to negotitate with, and one of them is TIME. I may have lost those years and it may be unfair and I can be a late bloomer and it's all going to be fine and don't worry, Jessica, BUT, here we are. I'm NOT 28. I'm 39. Non-negotiable. When AM I going to do all the stuff I wanted to do? Well, tick tock, 'cause it waits for no one. Would have liked to have gotten to it sooner, but.....yeah. We already covered that.

So I do what I can to throw a wrench into the works of that infernal clock and say "I can still do things. Even if they're not perfectly orchestrated or well-timed, I am going to try and do some stuff I've always wanted to do. I'm going to try and squeeze some dreams in before I really am middle aged and even MORE time has gone by without my doing anything!"

Y'all can sit back in your chairs and think I'm crazy, but I challenge you to look at yourselves and really be aware for a moment: feel that smugness? It's coming from the fact that you HAVE some goals under your belt that are appropriate to your age. And I look like a crazed narcissistic teenager to you because you're ready to be more settled, having acheived some normal developmental timeline. I'm happy for you. BUt I am not an It's All About Me Immature Human. I'm just wanting to have a slice of what you have, and not feel like I'm sliding into the next decade of my life with nothing to show for it. So this is my way of grabbing something that MEANS something to me -- this is one of my goals and a piece of MY picture of happiness-- and being able to have it as a keepsake for when I look back at my life and ask if I've wasted it.

It's also a way of breaking the monotony of what has become my life; a way of saying I can still Seize the Day. Make fun of it if you will, or say I'm being overdramatic, overidealistic, childish, whatever. But aware of it or not, everyone's got their own little Code to Live By and that's been mine. I've always liked it: I think it's a good one, simple, exuberant, true and courting many a reckoning moment which help define our character and shape our daily experience in a life-embracing way. Life IS short (duh), and I've recently come to see it as less of an abstract and more of a reality now more than ever. I haven't been seizing very much in the last 5 years, and I've been fucking miserable. I don't know how that's supposed to change, but this is my grand gesture toward pushing things in another direction. Maybe I'll end up broke and living with my parents and working at Wal-Mart, but I can say for sure I won't regret the leap.

What can you say that about?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My friend R and I have been dialoguing about the new Batman today, as he wrote a review of it here:

(AFTER the review about "Mamma Mia!" for which I teased him about mercilessly. ) At any rate, we didn't seem to agree too well about some salient points, but I'll spare you all the dialogue since it contains spoilers. Suffice it to say I feel that Batman's characterand purpose are clearer than ever at the end of the movie, whereas he feels it's somewhat vague. My argument is based on these two pieces of The Dark Knight series of the DC Comic:


Those take a decidedly different tack than your regular Batman fare: they all deal with how Batman came to be, and what he copes with and feature the Joker prominently, as well as a few other villians ( one of whom was eventually made in this movie).
All the villians, as well as the B-man himself are sort of up for a full psych eval, and while Batman always passes, he often skates by on a "Observe Further" note in his chart, so to speak, which is how the script is written. And the Joker, of course, is utterly sick, beyond comprehension, and loves to set up twisted situations and toy with Batman's internal conflict endlessly.

And my argument is that his conflict and end decisions are well within character and aren't quite the confused cop-out R seems to opine.

Anyway, lest we get too full of ourselves with this debate, I offer this: an old SNL clip I fell in love with about a year ago which seems to be appropos in light of recent discussions:

Just FYI: it has some gratuitous slapstick violence at the end, which may or may not be amusing to you. I know several of my friends and I almost peed ourselves laughing at it, but to be fair, we are fairly twisted people.

Being a superhero is a tougher job than Marvel makes it out to be. :)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Cut to: EXT. Night. Sunset Blvd. Jessica sits on a near-sidewalk-level window ledge outside a building, . She is behind several other people, waiting in line in front of a small, one-screen movie theatre. Several people are lined up behind her. She has her cell phone pressed to her ear. She speaks:
Are you on your way? Oh, okay. I just wanted to let you know I'm not
at the cafe next door. I'm in line. I SAID, I'M IN LINE. Yes, there's a line.
I know, I was really surprised. What? Okay, see you soon.

Which is pretty much a reality script of what I did this evening at roughly 8:20, a full hour and a half before the showing of "Batman" at my new favorite --very nahce, one screen--theatre in LA ( it's small! It's Art Deco retro! It's nicely restored and technologically rehabbed! Plus, they took out every other row so there could be leg room! Concessions were cheap! This last factoid will come into play later during this post so pay attention!) , which is actually Jack's favorite theatre, which is why we ended up there. ( Jack and I have become swimmingly good at being friends. It's nice. Suddenly, he's got all his good qualities back and the annoying ones don't bother me as much. Funny how that allllllll changes when you stop sleeping with someone, innit?) I got off work at 7:30 and headed over to his neck o' the woods, and I got there at like, 8:15. After looking around for Jack in the cafe I noticed this string of folks sitting on the sidewalk. (Cue doom-filled music) I knew what I was in for.

This, boys and girls, is where hubris gets you. And don't you forget it. Not that the world will ever let you, more than likely.

So I parked it and Jack showed up with tickets in hand already and I went and got a snack from the cafe next door while he held the spot. (My dinner? Ended up consisting of a cafe mocha and a large, stale cupcake. Oh, and that hot dog and half a bag of popcorn I wolfed down before the movie started. The hot dog and the popcorn were much fresher, if you're interested.) But we got great seats, unlike those folks who showed up way later and ended up being in line across the intersection of Sunset and Hillhurst. Yikes.

And so? So? SO???? You're asking? Did I love it? Did I love it or did I LOOOOOOOVE it? Or was it utterly overboiled and undercooked? Does Heath Ledger deserve that posthumous Oscar as it has been said? Was it all hype? Was it WORTH IT????!?!??

The answer is....


I LOOOOOOOOVED it. Every stinking moment of it. Goddammit!

It was written perfectly, directly perfectly ( god I LOOOOOOOVE Christopher Nolan! I didn't even know he did it untill a few weeks ago! And I almost freaked, because he's made some of my favorite movies EVAH, like "Memento" and "The Prestige"), acted so well by EVERYONE that I almost plotzed. I'm serious. It wants for nothing. Okay, well, I think Mr. Bale needs to tone it down with the "Batman Voice" ( two octaves deeper than his normal speaking range and a little weird) and it was a tad long at 2+ hours, but other than that, it was fanfuckingtastic and I don't care if you don't like superhero movies, it ISN'T a superhero movie. It's about characters, and it's really, really just about as perfect as you can get a cast to be cast, and costumed and shot and so on and so forth. Across the board.

As for That Pending Posthumous Question, let me answer it like this: I don't really believe in "posthumous " much on too many things. I am especially fussy when it comes to All Matters Oscar ( see last year's much ballyhooed "Juno" debate where I took the tres unpopular stance that Ellen Page shouldn't even have been nominated). Putting the two together is like asking me to eat veal and marmalade, which are two other things I don't really believe in and/or am fussy about, which might well be somewhat tolerable together somehow, but God Knows How, and It Sure As Hell Would Have to Be An Exceptional Circumstance, in either case.

On those merits alone, I can tell you: no. I think that people who are awarded posthumous Oscars have to have had a long and notable career and have to have had died unexpectedly while nominated to be awarded one ( although it should be noted that there is a long string of people being nominated for Oscars after death, James Dean being one of them. Who only had 2 films in his whole career when he died. ). The only person who ever won one was Peter Finch for "Network" ( ya know, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" ? Okay, maybe I'm just too old... ) and I think he may have even died before he was nominated ( note to self: look that up. Or, easier: R, do you know?) as well. But even so, he had already worked pretty hard and established himself as a gifted professional for a long, long while. I know this makes me a hardass for bucking tradition in terms of even sheer posthumous nominations, let alone being actually awarded. Call me a stickler (I've heard worse on awards-related topics, trust me), but that's my standard.

On the basis of his performance, soley: Hell yeah. He sneaks in under the wire and steals the whole movie. Which was pretty tough to do, since everyone else was no slouch by any stretch of the imagination. (Christian, of course, as the angsty Dark Knight; Aaron Eckhart as the oh-so-pure-or-is-he? Harvey Dent; Maggie Gyllenhall doing much to improve on Katie Holmes' old role as Rachel Dawes; Micheal Caine as the perfect Alfred and Morgan Freeman as a most original Lucius Fox. And please, someone give Gary Oldman a frickin pat on the back for being almost unrecognizable as himself as Commish Gordan already????)Of course, lets face it: stealing the movie as the Joker is not hard, he could have chosen to walk the whole thing out versus give it something; it's a part screaming for attention with lots of "look at me!" whackjob moments, and if you've ever read the comic book, plenty of chilling psychopathic depth with little need for embellishment to make it work.

Still, Heath adds so much of his own stuff in there, this eerie stillness at the center of the character, these little facial tics and posturing and walking....just watching him walk and hold himself was exactly right, and yet utterly his, because I had not imagined those things out of that character. In fact, I was sitting there wondering when he'd get angrier or more despondant as, in my mind, the Joker can be, when things don't go his way.....when I realized, hmpf. Not his choice. His choice his certainty. Not inner conflict ( that's Bruce Wayne's gig). Not even flappable. Just SURE. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that, but he made his decision as an actor and stuck by it, and it works. It not only works, it's brilliant.

It's a little sad, because I would have liked to see how he made that character work in any future films. R.I.P. He was so talented.


Moving on.

The only REAL problem I had with the film was, in fact, not at all due to anything the makers of it could control. I have a long history of not particularly being inclined toward action/adventure type movies. It's not that I don't feel they have merit, but rather, the sheer adrenaline of watching them often leaves me exhausted. I'm one of those "feeler" types who sit there and catch their breath every time a car rolls over or bullets whiz by. Then there are many peek-through-the-fingers moments when things get violent; I just don't have much of a stomach on me. I can take it up to a point ( fer cryin' out loud, I grew up in AMERICAN culture, thank you!) but then when the scene is all said and done, I usually find I've been holding my breath and a huge exhale is neccessary.

And psychological violence or high-level emotional moments tend to leave me reeling as well; I'm a crier and a laugher and an it-became-a-part-of-me person, and so it's just hard. Which isnt' to say I don't think movies should have those things, it's just I tend to be a little high strung anyway, and again, I feel everything, so, alas. It's a gamble. On the flip side I also tend to relish things more, so it works for me as much as it works against me. I try to choose wisely and view movies I think are worth the whole trip of experiencing, and usually it pays off.

Unless, of course, I forget that about myself ( it happens!Contrary to popular belief I don't get the scoop on every movie I see beforehand, and frankly, I go to the theatre so rarely sometimes it's just BEEN awhile, so I'm not even thinking like that) and fail to gauge IN ADVANCE that I might be putting myself at risk. I've totally bought it at movies before; I remember a truly charming moment of "Requiem for A Dream" that forced me out of the theatre and into a bistro chair breathing it out. ( I thought I was doing pretty well til an employee came up to me and said, "You look sort of green. Are you okay? Should we get your party?" I asked for a glass of water, and assurred him that I was probably going to be all right. Unfortunately, I ended up, after 20 good minutes of chilling, going back in only to discover that NO, this movie WASN'T over and my date wasn't just watching the credits but rather, there was whole lot of end yet to come. At which point I informed said date that "this fucking movie had better end in 20 minutes or less or we are LEAVING!" Yeah, he got lucky, 'cause it did. Suffice it to say, we did not STAY for the credits like he wanted to do.) And that was a movie I didn't eat much of a dinner prior to viewing ( I was on a date. I was nervous!).

So, say, in an of course purely hypothetical situation in which you were cheated out of dinner by having to sit in line for a movie that ended up grossing $155.34 million this weekend ( was I right, or was I RIGHT??) and oh, you know.... you had a big giant ( stale) cupcake followed by a really quick-- albeit super tasty and fresh-- hotdog and popcorn 10 minutes to screen time, followed by a movie chock full of um, er, intense stuff like the aforementioned in the form of
(Insert spoilers here; if you want to keep reading, it doesn't reveal much and is still really vauge. However, I leave you to choose.)
twisted violence ("I'm going to make this pencil disappear" anyone? ) and big-time action sequences ( hey, even the Batcar didn't totally survive one of them) and complex social/psychological torture ( two boats, two detonators, no one leaves, but one of them has to blow, of course.)
(safe to resume now....have at it!)
I ask you: WTF W YOU D?

I almost hurled. Twice. The second time I had that "aha!" moment about the fine fine cuisine of the evening sitting in my stomach like a rock while my insides churned around these plotlines and content. DUH, Jessica! Did you learn nothing when you saw "The Golden Compass " -- a movie that you'd a.) read the book of well before hand and b.) was pretty easy sailing most of the way as it'd been marketed towards children --this Christmas and the polar bear fight almost brought up a soft pretzel ? Apparently not.

And then I almost cried. Three times. I was doing that ::fans face:: thing so I wouldn't and be this total goober who cries at Batman, for crying out loud. Then I got in the car and got all misty on the way home. In my defense, I do have PMS. Not like this was some sort of sappy Hallmark commercial, though, you know?

The bottom line is, I MUST stop eating weird shit at the movies, if not flat out checking myself before I even leave the house with the vetting of films that have "content issues" more regularly. I'm clearly being a.) forgetful and b.) irresponsible enough to not consider the results of ya know, puking on site. In the end, if I suspect a movie contains adrenaline-reaching highs + graphic violence + psychological twist-the-knife moments ( or any combination of the three), I have to decide whether the film is worth it for me. If I feel it has merit enough to see and then make sure I EAT real food at least an hour before curtain. ( After all, I am the daughter of a mother who went to go see "Alien" when she was pregnant with my brother and yanked my dad outta there after that whole chest-bursting-open scene. Granted, being pregnant with another life inside of her when seeing that particular moment probably added to her need to burst out of there like her hair was on fire, but my mom isn't one for that stuff anyway, as it stands).

So this all begs the question, doesn't it? Given the post-near-hurling and crying and whatnot, do I think it was worth it?

Oh, yes. A hundred times, yes. No doubt about it. For once, all the hype and the inconvience and nausea and the was definitely, unequvicably WORTH it.

Yes, yes, yes.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

"Batman": The Madness

I don't know if I've even mentioned this before, but Burbank is what's called a Box Office Pull Site. That means, when you see those numbers on ranking lists of what's #1 at the box office this week, or how much a film has raked in its first weekend opening, the people coming up with those numbers are using specific pull sites ( mostly in larger cities) to gather information as a general median. ( The same way a Neilsen rating works; not every family has a Neilsen box, but a few do in a choice burgs around the country and the statististics are drawn from them to garner a general profile of how popular a show is.) ANYWAY, because of this fact, Burbank has 3 AMC movie complexes within TWO BLOCKS of one another. You could literally walk from one movie theatre to another to the third without even breaking a sweat or moving your car. ( Of course, each theatre is, essentially, running the same damned big studio movies at every venue. Oh, there are a few exceptions: an extra family movie here, an extra late showing of a horror flick there, but they're the same roster. Nothing like stuffing the ballot box, eh? Groan. )

I mention this because Big Bookseller is on top of the smallest of these three, the AMC Burbank 3. ( AMC Burbank 8 is inside the mall, and AMC 16 --or as I affectionately call it, "The Googleplex"-- is around the corner. As things go, the one at the mall is the safest one to hit and not be mobbed. The Googleplex is a farking nightmare, not surprisingly). And I knew this weekend was gonna be hell on wheels because every fucking weekend a Big Movie opens, people a.) flood our store to waste time before the movie starts, b.) drag their kids in to appease them before the movie starts, c.) decide to mosey on in and dawdle around til we close because they don't feel like going home/are on a date and think bookstores are fun and romantic/ want a last minute frappuccino before heading to bed, and d.) take up every available parking space in the parking garage next door, thus leaving employees with very few options for how to get to work on time and possibly park legally simoultaneously.

This weekend, our store was so dead you could hear crickets chirping in the aisles. I was really, really confused because hey, "Batman" opens this weekend, and the hype is practically being passed out through the molecules in the air, it's been so prevalent.

Then I got the clue when I walked out of work last night at midnight.

There were a few kids milling about at the top of the stairs in front of our store, the stairs that lead down to the theatre. I thought they were just going home for the night, since hey, that movie had midnight shows the night BEFORE ( on Thursday) for its opening on Friday day. Friday morning, thinking I might go see it myself ( 'cause I love me some Christian Bale, and Christian Bale as Batman? I'm so THERE. Christian Bale at The Dark Knight Batman-- a comic book I used to read ardently in my early 20s?-- get the hell out of my way! Oh, and yes, you may now commence mocking me for my geekiness. ) I had checked online myself and seen that all the shows in Burbank EVERYWHERE were flat sold out except the midnight shows. ( I ended up having to work unexpectedly anyway, so ptphtpthtbtthh to that plan....) I didn't really wanna go at midnight, and frankly, I thought no one else would either, since the moment had effectively PASSED, you know; the movie was out and would be in theatres and readily available for viewing at your leisure, right????

BWHAHAHHAHA! NO! I underestimate the ferocity of comic book fandom! Because those straggling teens I saw as I was dragging my weary self to my car? They were IN LINE. All the way up the stairs. As I passed by to the garage, I looked down to through the glass partition below and saw a line all. The. Way. Around. The block.

At midnight. For real.

And then when I was dragging my weary self out to my car this evening at 8:30, I saw the same thing. I totally would bet my ticket to Paris that when Big Bookseller staff leaves at the crack o' tomorrow tonight that they will see another line, just as long. And I fully stake my own future earnings on yet the same thing tomorrow despite the fact that it will be Sunday, two days since the premiere, and the last day of the weekend, before all those sad saps have to roll into work the next morning.

I'm afraid to think about what was happening down the street. Or god forbid, in Hollywood, where they don't have nearly as decent parking.

The thing is, I've lived here now for almost 6 years. And I've seen this kind of thing before: lines, sell-outs, blah blah blah. We're a pull site, remember? We were chosen to be one not just because of our ridiculously close proximity to the studios, but because as a population, Burbank people go to movies. Alot. ( It's an industry city where people who work in said studios live and have families. Plus Burbank is pretty safe and boring and has no nightlife to speak of so there isn't shit else to do with your time, regardless). That's how, in part, pull sites ( and Neilsen families) get chosen: high activity. When I lived back in STL, I used to snipe out of Thanksgiving/Christmas obligations early and go to the movies. I was usually only one of a handful of people there. HERE, going to the movies on a holiday is like buying a turkey or decorating a tree: just one of those things ya do. ( Trust me- I still go to the movies on Christmas, so I know!!) It's a melee to get decent seats, etc. etc. etc.

And still.....I have never seen ANYTHING like this. For real. I know from checking today that it's already doing phenomenally at the box office: $66 million on Friday alone. But I predict that that is an early, early number, and that this movie will set records for it's opening weekend draw. It will break standing records and set new ones. I am completely confident in that prediction, too.

Wait and see.

And moi, you ask? Do I have "Batman" plans now that you know my secret geeky shame ? Wel, yes! I'm going tomorrow ( my friend is getting tickets early-- to be sure we get them--to a small theatre in Los Feliz --in hopes that we can avoid the madness). I'll let you know what I think ( of course), and please pray some dumb skateboardin' teen doesn't run over my foot trying cut in line for seats or starts shoving me inadvertantly while he's passing time with his friends, because I have PMS and I will take them all down!!! I'm excited and I've been waiting all summer, and having lived through the first 3 Batmans that graced our screens in the 90s ( retch), and having been fully relieved and entertained by "Batman Begins", I think I could start shoving back without compunction and no court in the land ( well, providing the judge is a geek) would convict me.

But I'm not standing around at some ungodly hour and waiting in line forever or wearing some goofy shirt. I AM an adult, for crying out loud. And never that big of a geek. ::Nose in air, *snif*::. Of course.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Remember that settlement I got from Actor Cop? Well I had some money left over. Alot of money, actually, since the judge saw fit to award me for lost wages.

So I decided: I could play it safe. I could put it in savings. I'm poor.

Or I could do something I've been dreaming about since I was 15 and make my much dreaded 40th something to look forward to.

So I did.

Dear Jessica,
Thank you for booking your travel through Travelocity. Your trip to Paris, France (CDG) is confirmed. A summary of your reservation is provided below.

Primary Contact: Jessica
Flight: 1 Round-Trip Ticket

Thu, Jan 29, 2009
Los Angeles International Airport, (LAX) to Paris Charles de Gaulle
Next day Detroit, MI (DTW) to Paris, (CDG)

Fri, Feb 6, 2009
Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport, (CDG) to Los Angeles International Airport, (LAX)
Arrive: PM Amsterdam, (AMS) to Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Total Travel Time: 13 hrs 50 mins

Hotel: 1 Room, 7 Nights Confirmation
Elysees Union Hotel 44 RUE HAMELIN

Check in: Fri, Jan 30, 2009
Check out: Fri, Feb 6, 2009
Room 1: Double / Twin Room ( 1 Adult )
Contact: Jessica


I can't even tell you the last time I spent this much money in one fell swoop. Oh, wait: it was a security deposit on this apartment!!!!!! Okay, I can't tell you the last time I spent this much money on something I wanted just for me. Oh wait: that was my car.

I'm totally hyperventilating. I'm also completely out of my mind excited. I don't even have a passport yet. Or anyone to go with. But......hopefully the latter can be corrected soon, and the former is easy to deal with.


Tuesday, July 01, 2008

In leiu of bitching about how miserable I am once again, because it's SUMMER ( although, please note I went to see Master P on Friday for a check-in and for the third summer in a row since I've had the man as my physician, complained to him about this reverse SAD thing. Surprisingly, he actually seemed to acknowledge it as a legitimate thing-- seems he has another patient who's similarly miserable-- and offered to tinker with my meds. I declined simply on the basis of "what's to be done that won't be miserably undone later?", to which he had to concede. On the upside, I don't have to feel guilty about all those donuts.).....

I offer you a funny questionnaire that was offered to me last week. The premise is that you only use song lyrics to answer. It's not as easy as it seems, but the results are always entertaining. And aren't I here to entertain, enlighten, annoy? Why yes. So let us proceed:

1.) Beverage?
Black, black coffee in bed....( "Black Coffee In Bed", Squeeze)

It's like a heatwave, burnin' in my heart....( "Heatwave", Martha and the Vandellas)

3.)What happened last night?
Sleep/Sleep tonight/And may your dreams be realized. ("MLK", U2)

4.)What do you do?
See I'm all about them words/ Over numbers, unencumbered numbered/Words/Hundreds of pages pages pages full of words.... ( "You and I Both ", Jason Mraz)

5.) What are you wearing?
Who'll notice that I'm not around?/ I could hide out under there/ I just made you say 'underwear' "... ("Pinch Me", The Barenaked Ladies)

6.) Today?
Got up, got out of bed/Dragged a comb across my head/ Found my way downstairs and drank a cup/ And looking up, I noticed I was late/ Grabbed my coat and found my hat/ Made the bus in seconds flat/ Found my way upstairs and had a smoke/ And somebody spoke and I went into a dream....ah...... ("A Day In The Life", The Beatles)

7.) Relationship status?
Look for the girl with the broken smile/And ask her if she wants to stay awhile/And she will be loved/And she will be loved. ("She Will Be Loved", Maroon 5)

8.) Words for your ex?
I'm going home/gonna load my shot gun/Wait by the door and light a cigarette/He wants a fight/Well, now he's got one/ He aint seen me crazy yet....I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of/Gunpowder and lead. ("Gunpowder and Lead", Miranda Lambert)

9.) Where are you from?
Well, I'm from/ a map dot/ a stop sign on a black top/ I took the first bus I could hop from there/ Now all of this glitter is getting dark/There's concrete growing in the city park...("Where the Green Grass Grows", Tim McGraw)

10.) Describe yourself?
She was a long cool woman in a black dress....( "Long Cool Woman", The Hollies)

11.) Drugs?
The more I drink, the more I drink/I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancing machine/I get loud/I get proud/And it gets worse/ If I have one, I'll have thirteen/Oh, there aint no in between/The more I drink.....the more I drink! ( "The More I Drink", Blake Shelton)

12.) Pets?
Black cat sittin on a front porch fence/Aint got enough dough to pay the rent/He's flat broke but he don't care/He'll strut right by with his tail in the air! ("Stray Cat Strut", The Stray Cats)

13.) What do you drive?
She's my little deuce coupe/You don't know what I got.... ("Lil' Deuce Coupe", The Beach Boys)

And if that weren't enough, here's one more:

1. what are your three best dishes you cook
  1. Thanksgiving stuffing and the fixin's

  2. Potato soup from scratch

  3. Blueberry pie

2. three books you can/have read over and over

  1. the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

  2. The Little House books

  3. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

3. three favorite bands from the 80's

  1. Duran Duran

  2. U2

  3. Til Tuesday

4. if there was never TV ever again, which three TV shows would you require the complete seasons of on DVD?

  1. Buffy/Angel

  2. Designing Women

  3. Laverne and Shirley

5. three things you always wanted as a kid/teen but never got?
  1. A NEW car with a cool stereo

  2. A trip to shop at the Limited, price be damned

  3. My artwork taken seriously by my parents/"Yes you can apply to The Art Institute of Chicago

6. what are the first three body parts you wash in the shower?

I don't know? Um....Id have to really pay attention. Usually I'm so tired I just go through the same automatic routine that I've been doing since puberty.

7. three cities you've never been to but want to go to

  1. London

  2. Paris

  3. Sydney

("NewYork London Paris Munich Everybody talk about.....Popmusic"...sorry, I couldn't resist :P !)

8. three favorite smells

  1. Chocolate Chip cookies baking

  2. Cinnamon rolls/vanilla

  3. The scent of the person you love/desire most- the best smell in the world.

9. three favorite colors

  1. Purple

  2. Silver

  3. Red

Til next post, compadres......